President Barack Obama: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis - Bilingual Subtitles
Sorry I had cancel a few times.
My mouse pad broke last week and I had to get my great-ant some diabetes shoes and it's no problem.
I mean I have to say when I heard that people actually watch this show as I was actually pretty surprised.
Hi welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns, I'm your host Zach Gallifianakis and my guest today is Barack Obama, President Barack Obama.
Good to be with you Zach.
First question, in 2013 What do you have planned for 2014?
We'll probably pardon another Turkey.
We that at every Thanksgiving.
Was that depressing to you?
Seeing one Turkey taken out of circulation, Turkey you couldn't eat?
So, how does this work?
Do send Ambassador Rodman to North Korea on your behalf?
I read somewhere that you'd be sitting Hulk Hogan in Syria, or is that more of a job for Tonya Harding?
He's not our ambassador.
What we do about North IKEA?
North...
Why don't we move on?
I have to know, what is it like to be the last black president?
What's it for this to be the last time you ever talked to a president?
It kind of stink, though, that you can't run three times.
Actually, I think it's a good idea.
If I ran a third time, it'd be sort of like doing a third hangover movie.
It didn't really work out very well.
Now, I have to say that I've seen this show before and some of the episodes have probably been a little bit better than this.
For example, the one with Bradley Cooper, that was a great one.
You kind of carried that movie, didn't you?
Which film are you speaking of?
Those movies, basically he carried them.
Yeah, everybody loves Bradley.
Good for him.
Good luck in guy.
Being like that in Hollywood, that's easy.
Tall, handsome, that's easy.
Be short, fat, and smell like Doritos and try to make it Hollywood.
Is it going to be hard in two years when you're no longer president and people will stop letting you win a basketball?
How does it feel having a three-inch vertical?
It's a three-inch horizontal.
So where are you planning on building a presidential librarian?
Why or your home country of Kenya?
Because...
I mean, both places seem like they would be...
Zach, that's a ridiculous question.
Well, you know, I mean, not to bring up the birth certificate thing, but really never did really produce your real life.
Where's your birth certificate?
Why don't you show it to us right now?
I don't want to show anybody my birth certificate because it's embarrassing.
What's embarrassing about it?
My weight on it, it says that I was more than seven pounds, eight hundred ounces.
You know what I would do if I were president, Mr.
President?
I would make same-sex divorce illegal.
Didn't see how bad they wanted.
I've been
why you're not president and that's a good thing you said if you had a son you would
not let him play football what makes you think that he would want to play football what if
he was a nerd like you do you think a woman like Michelle would marry a nerd
why don't you ask her whether she thinks i'm a nerd could i no i'm not going to let her near you So,
do you go to any websites that are .coms or .net, or do you mainly just stick with .govs?
No, actually, we go to .govs.
Have you heard of healthcare.gov?
Here we go.
Okay, let's get this out of the way.
What did you come here to play?
Well, first of all, I think it's fair to say that I wouldn't be with you here today if I didn't have something to plug.
Have you heard of the Affordable Care Act?
Oh, yeah, I about that.
That's the thing that doesn't work.
Why would you get the guy that created the Zoom to make your website?
Healthcare.gov works great now, and millions of Americans have already gotten health insurance plans, and what we want is prepared.
that you can get affordable health care.
Most young Americans, right now, they're not covered.
And the truth is that they can get coverage all for what it costs you to pay your cell phone bill.
This is what they mean by drones.
The point is that a lot of young people, they think Did you say invisible because, uh, no, no, that's not invisible, invincible.
Okay.
Meaning they don't think they can get hurt.
I'm just saying that nobody could be invisible if you had said invisible.
I understand that.
If they get that health insurance it can really make a big difference and they've got till March 31st to sign up
I don't have a computer so how does well then you can call one eight hundred three one eight two five nine six
I don't have a phone.
I'm off the grid.
I don't want you people like looking at my text if you know what I mean First of all is like nobody's interested in your texts,
but second of all You can do it in person and the law means that insurers can't discriminate against you if you've got a pre-existing condition anymore
Yeah, but what about What about this though?
That's disgusting how long have you had it?
I'll just four months Really spider bites.
I got attacked by spiders Zach, you need to get that checked right away.
You to get on healthcare.gov because that's one of most disgusting things I've ever seen.
Is your plug finally over?
I suppose so.
So which country were you rooting for in the Winter Olympics?
Seriously?
I'm the president of the United States.
What do you think, Zach?
I want to thank President Obama for being on the show.
I'm to press this.
I touch that, please.
Shh!
Thanks Thanks for letting me shoot my show here all these years.
You've been shooting these shows here in the diplomatic room?
Who gave you permission to do that?
Bush.
Seriously?
Who gave him Clarence?
That's the other hand.
No, it's everywhere.
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