Thank you very much Hello, everyone.
Wow, I'm just taking a moment to take in this crowd because this is sensational.
We are all so thrilled to be here to talk about probably our favorite topic, mental health.
We're all passionate about it.
And I'm really excited for us to have a conversation about the things that we think are really important to think about and to consider.
And we hope that we'll give you a little bit of food for a thought experiences in your own journeys,
and we hope we inspire you, maybe give you a laugh or two, and let's go ahead and get started.
I'm going to start off by introducing our very esteemed panelists.
Jessica and I am moderating, but let me go ahead and introduce these folks.
Now the first panelist, do I need to introduce her?
Probably I'm going to do it.
Woo Selena Gomez is one of the most globally and culturally celebrated artists, actors, producers, entrepreneurs, and philanthropists of her generation.
Philanthropy and activism have been key pillars of Gomez's career.
Gomez used her platform to advocate for many important causes, including mental health, where she has been a leading voice in changing the stigma.
She is a co-founder of Wundermind alongside her husband.
Thank you, Selena, for everything that you do.
is co-founder and CEO of Wondermine, as as executive producer of the Emmy-nominated content, Thirteen Reasons Why, and Living Undocumented.
She's the patron of women in film,
and member of the producers Guild of America,
and her philanthropic endeavors include Alliance for Children's Rights,
Mandy Launched Wundermine in 2021, with the core strategy to achieve democratization and desingmitation of mental health by launching the world's first year.
mental health fitness ecosystem along with Selena.
Corey Yeager, who a researcher, psychotherapist, and and author of his new book, How Am I Doing?
40 Conversations to Have with Yourself.
Yeager's therapeutic practices range from the NBA, NFL, UFL, to an array of entertainment spaces.
Corey and his wife have five sons and called Minneapolis home.
Jager, for being here today.
we've got Solomon Taunes, who is NFL defensive lineman where he uses his platform to advocate for mental health to break stigma.
He's also the co-founder of the defensive line along with his parents, Chris and Martha.
He's a wonderful advocate for mental health and I'm so glad he's here.
Just very briefly, I'm Dr.
Jessica I'm a clinical psychologist,
speaker, consultant, I'm founder and CEO of Three Lemons LLC, which does all sorts of speaking and consulting around mental health.
I'm also a clinical psychologist and a clinical psychologist.
to Professor at NYU Langone Health, and I am beyond honored to be here to talk about Mental Health with you all.
All right, now that the answers are in place, let's get down to business.
So what we wanted to do and we want to accomplish with this panel is to have a conversation about the aspects of mental health.
that tend to, we shy away from them.
We are maybe a little bit uncomfortable with them.
We don't really know what to say.
We know that there's a ton of mental health stigma.
And think what's so spectacular about these folks
is that they have done an exquisite job
in being able to break that stigma
and to be able to challenge individuals to think about mental health in a way that is authentic and raw.
And so that's really our goal today is to have those conversations together and with you guys.
And so I wanted to think of different questions that we can talk about that relate to the value.
in our missions, in the brands that we work with, in the companies that we try to achieve great missions with.
And what we want to do is talk about the gritty.
the fun, the interesting, the entertaining, and make this conversation just really approachable.
The question I have for you to start us off is,
how has opening up about your mental health experiences personally and those close to you really change the way in which you think about mental
health and the way in which you engage in conversations in your own life and with the people around you?
I released a documentary and I was terrified to do it and I went back and forth on whether I'd do it or not.
And I think the moment I did that, I felt this And saying amount of release because there wasn't any hiding anymore.
There wasn't there wasn't just this image that people could see and think, oh, it looks nice.
And it was probably one of the hardest moments of my life.
So I would say it's helped release a lot of anxiety of keeping it in just to let people know I'm having,
I'm having a hard day or I just need a minute.
Selena, I'm curious about what you just said because I think that's so powerful.
As you went back and forth and this felt like maybe a scary decision, what prompted you to decide to...
Probably, probably for everyone who's been in that position, too.
releasing a song I wrote called Lose You to Love Me,
and I had women coming up to me and single moms, and just telling them how they're here.
and it just moved me and I felt like I could sacrifice myself so that others can see what it might really be like.
Yeah, I think that deserves a pretty significant round of applause.
I think there's something important here that Selena just touched on.
And this is the idea that behind the scenes of our lives,
There is a ton of adversity that people face, but in this day and age, we have, to some degree, decontextualized our existence.
We see instagram posts and all the beautiful flash that people have.
Solomon is doing great work, Selena, Mandy doing great work, and we all see that.
But behind the scenes, what we don't get to see.
the adversity, the struggle, the tears, all of those things that go into the existence of being a human, the human condition.
So let's pay attention to contextualizing our lives,
and I think that's what Selena just really touched on,
that she gave the opportunity to be vulnerable so we could see some of those other aspects.
that she works through on a continuous basis just like all of us, right?
I that's really important to point out.
Yeah, yeah, to answer your question, Dr.
Jessica, yeah, to being open and honest about my mental health wasn't something that I always was doing.
Like, it took time to get here.
Like, I always wasn't vulnerable, always wasn't just talking about my deepest, darker secrets.
You know, my really sad emotions, like, I had to go through a journey.
And for me, that journey looked really different.
I was raised by two beautiful parents,
had an amazing sister who always let me be a sense of an emotional at home, but that was my safe place at the time.
But in reality, I was always in the locker room, you know, around what players were on others.
There, like, being emotional, being sensitive wasn't something that was allowed.
It wasn't a safe place, it was rejected, and to be honest, growing up, those are things that we made fun of.
We fun of a guy so crying.
We fun of a so being sensitive.
So into this work was like a really hard journey for me.
Like, you hit by a hurricane and you find out that your sister is really struggling with mental health.
And I'm later in life trying to erase all these things that I've learned,
all these certain ways that I live by,
trying to erase this archaic mindset that I live by of being a man,
being tough, if I get any feelings like suppress them or rub their own it, and trying to find a way to help my sister.
too late and I unfortunately lost my sister's suicide and I'm hit in this world of mental health
and you know it's taking the storm over me.
I don't know how to handle these emotions.
I'm going through this journey of grief.
You know I don't know how to put my depression and grief and anxiety into words and I'm just trying to live by every day and you know I had to do the work.
you I was I was in a place where my back was against the wall You know,
I feel like I couldn't go to sleep for like feel like I couldn't wake up Like it was just stuck in a place where I didn't even know at the time
But I was stuck in suicide ideation like I just didn't want to be here anymore Mom,
but luckily I went through that work and I went to therapy and I learned how to put my emotions into words and I learned how to upon my depression.
I how to move along and understand that, hey, it's okay not to be okay.
Like my sister, thank you.
Like, my sister just died by suicide.
I'm not supposed to be happy.
I'm not supposed to be posting some highlights on Instagram.
I'm supposed to be doing the work to find out how I can be myself again,
but being able to get to the strength and get to the place where I can talk about my emotions and open about these things,
I'm truly impacted and change my life in the biggest way.
I feel like I live an authentic life now.
I feel like I can be myself unapologetically.
Like I've done the work and I've learned about who I am.
and about how I react in certain situations,
what I need to do to fix that,
what I need to do to live with my depression,
like, you know, find out these things, and know, it's connected with people more than I ever have ever thought I could.
Like, you have these conversations,
and like, you talk to these people, and you might not even talk to them directly, but you have a new connection.
because we're all human and we're all going through these things.
You may never see it, but it's important to talk about these things.
And why I just have so introspect for everyone on this stage because it's hard to get here.
It's really hard to work and it's hard to be able to talk about these things,
but needed because people are struggling and this world definitely needs more people speaking up.
I'm very moved by each one of you.
I think it's so inspiring, so impactful, and as a psychologist who does therapy, I deliver therapy in both individual and group ways.
the way in which all of you are willing,
but excited to be vulnerable,
it sounds like a strange word to use with the word vulnerability,
but you're all motivated, inspired to do so, and that's where all the impact happens, and I salute you all.
Thank you for being so honest and open.
I think it's really impactful.
Another thing I was thinking about in anticipation of this panel,
but I think even struck me now as we're having this conversation really palpably,
is the way in which we change our thinking related to mental health and language.
And something I work with in therapy when I'm doing therapy,
but I've also thought very critically in my own life and my own experience is the way in which the narrative and the
words that we use around our mental health has changed.
So, for instance, it starts off oftentimes before a lot of people with shame, where they
find that the ways in which they describe their emotions and their thoughts shame,
and then hopefully over the course of time,
those emotions will build to more and more nuance,
and we'll add a little bit more dimension to our thoughts and maybe feel a little bit more empowered to talk about our mental health journeys.
how has the way in which you've talked about your mental own minds and maybe externally with other folks changed throughout the course of your
Before I really understood what mental health meant, I always knew that I felt different than other people.
And I didn't understand the feelings that I was having.
And so it was just easy to chalk up and go, oh, I'm just crazy.
And I didn't realize that that was negatively affecting me.
And so I was like, oh, I'm crazy.
And then I have ADHD, which is basically a learning disability.
And it really took a long time for me.
You, once I did that, I was allowing other people to speak to me that way.
And then it becomes my truth.
And that's not the truth of what is going on with someone who has something in, you going on in the mental health capacity.
So I I feel like the language in general has always been there.
We just now have like more access to it.
And I feel that it's been so misguided,
In order to understand how we need to speak to each other we have to understand each other and until we are willing to not have fear against the unknown and we are able to just
really have these conversations because you know I can say oh I have ADHD or I have trauma I can tell right away how that person feels about me like if they're even going to do
know what we're going to get with her,
and so partly of what we want to do at Wonder Mind is really kind of change that narrative and really encourage people that
don't have access to resources and to democratize it and destigmatize it so that we can all just flourish into our best,
because I've always spoken negative with myself and I had to learn the role.
It's like if I wouldn't say it to my best friend, I'm not allowed to say it to myself.
Selena, I'm curious about you.
Did that change at all the way that you spoke about mental health and the way that you thought
about the language that you used yourself and some of the self-criticism?
Yeah, I, uh, we shot the documentary six years, um, and
It makes me sick to hear the things that I was saying about myself in the beginning.
It bums me out, but I everybody can relate to that feeling.
I like everyone was sharing, it's important to speak to yourself with kindness, but I don't think I really understood that.
It's funny because all the things I was bit shook about then I'm grateful for now,
but I think it has taught me a lot about myself and letting I mean,
it's weird being able to see myself so long ago saying those things that I would never say to myself now.
And that perspective too is really fascinating to be able to look back and for all of us
to see how the way that we think about ourselves and our experiences changes and maybe we're
grateful for things now that we weren't back then and sometimes that can be pretty cool.
In terms of thinking about these moments where you decided to either open up or share a story or create a foundation,
for some people maybe it was a moment in time, sometimes it was maybe a little bit of accumulation of experiences.
I'm curious for each one of you,
was there that sort of aha moment or was it a slow build in terms of when you decided you wanted to start to be a little bit more authentic with
your experiences and open up to the world about your mental health?
Yeah, my moment actually came at the beginning of season two on 13 Reasons Why.
Everything was like catching up to me.
I all these years investing my energy in avoiding what my problems were by helping other people and giving all myself away.
And then I said, you know what, you have to...
preach and I called one person and I got on a plane and I went to a treatment
center and I stayed there for 30 days and it was the first time that I had ever
had to sit in what and who I was.
It lovely because you had no cell phone.
But like, it was like, you know, you go and you like spin this like weird relationship with yourself.
And you can see how disconnected you are.
I even started trying to navigate.
Oh, like, oh, I can help her.
And I was like, no, like you have to, you have to focus on yourself.
And so for me, that was the day.
I I was just like not happy.
And I don't know that I would have made it, had I And I was fortunate enough to go and have the resources for that.
And when I was there, some people didn't have the resources and they were being asked to leave.
And that was a big marker for me of going, shit, that's wrong.
Like, can I give them my insurance?
How my How can I How I help them?
How can I keep them like they're like talking about suicide?
Like are you going to let them leave?
And it was, it struck a chord into me.
We need to really take the time to understand who the world is and run,
like, in the wonder mine looks like from the outside in.
So wonder mine is all of you and you tell us what you need and
we navigate that and find that and help find the resources so they can get the need.
They can't get what they need.
How about Selena, was there a moment where you decided you wanted to talk about your mental health?
I work in the weirdest industry.
I just felt like I didn't fit in.
My mom, though, I to be honest, was very vocal and open about how I was feeling, how she was feeling.
I think we watched Girl Interrupted when I was like 12, and I was like...
Oh, that's what rehab looks like, and I was like confused by it, and we ended up
having one of the most honest conversations that we've ever had together.
And I really appreciated it, and it allowed me to not be scared.
But I will say this, you can't force someone to do it.
It's just not, it doesn't work.
There was a lot of people that cared about me more than I cared about myself that really wanted me to do things I wasn't ready for.
I had to hit my rock bottom and I had to do it at my time.
I took a couple of tries, but I'd like to thank and hope that I'm in a much better place now.
So now a question for all of you is what are some of your go-to mental fitness tips,
the things that keep you fresh, the things that maybe support you when you're going through a tough time.
What are some of your coping strategies?
The things that you keep in your toolbox,
I am a huge believer in having a well-stocked toolbox that's going to need to replenish at times.
It's to need to change through different seasons of our lives.
So the toolbox we have now is going to maybe need to change our or in the next phase of life.
But what are some of the things that you use in your own lives that you feel like are really helpful for you?
Fermi personally, obviously, would be therapy.
Sometimes are more impactful.
and I also am a very deep believer in DBT,
which is dialectical behavior therapy,
and that's something that I hold close to me,
and a lot of those skills are things I've learned, like brain, you know, which is recognized, and...
And allow your feelings, investigate them, and then nurture yourself.
And things like that will...
what kind of re-pop into my head, and reassuring.
But sometimes I just have to let myself feel it, not a pass.
If I'm feeling something that I don't understand or I don't have a method for,
I will sign up for a course,
and I sometimes complete them, I sometimes don't, but I'll take those courses, and then I also am a huge general, as you know.
I think it gives me a sense of control.
I can control this moment with, you know, if something's going on.
And just centers me and brings me so much peace and helps me find usually the answer that I really need.
So, yeah, that's what I do.
I would say a couple of things.
I love the journaling idea.
The research tells us one of the two ways that we can really get things off is to talk to someone or to write, right?
It relieves pressure around that issue because you can think if you have a struggle with a significant other,
as soon as that struggle ensues and it's done, what do you do?
You oftentimes pick up the phone and call a friend and you begin to describe to them what you're struggling with.
Well, innately, you know, they can't.
You know they can't fix it.
Because we want to relieve pressure.
I want that pressure off of me I want to talk about this and get it out
The other thing a tool that I think that is really important
Especially as you engage with the things that you already currently have is in my
book I talk about at creating a Supreme Court in your life
Those three four or five people that know you well and will be truth tellers not just will cosign
But will be truth tellers so when I have struggles I can go to my Supreme Court and say all right
So here's here's what's going on you know me well, and I don't want to be ass on this.
Tell me what your thoughts are I think So I'm considering that and get that feedback.
If go to three to five people that you're close to and they give you real feedback, a pattern will emerge.
The truth will emerge more often than not.
You already know what the truth is.
They just confirm it for you So it's a little thing.
I think that we you can use Yeah,
um, I'll say probably the three biggest things I do for my mental health routines is like I'm a big big in a
therapy You know I've talked about it like during this talk like therapy say my life and just being able to talk and understand myself
And I think therapy is great to be aware about yourself and who you are and be mindful
But just like you get to know yourself more and more the more you talk with someone and someone
be able to you know reflect back with you.
And then journaling is big for me.
I'm always in my head and then my doc just said like getting things off my head and on a paper
helps me kind of go through my day and and not worry about those things and those thoughts on my head anymore.
And then I'm a big meditator like you know my life is like moves very fast like on to the next workout next training.
session, rehab, next game.
So I've always felt like the day's coming to me.
But when I meditate and I ground myself, I feel like I can then approach today how I want to approach it.
But sometimes saying these three things, therapy, journaling, and are big mental health words that scare some people.
And to be honest, you don't have to.
have to do those things to take care of your mental health.
Like taking care of your mental health can be as simple as getting enough sleep,
making sure you're getting 20 minutes of working out in a day,
getting 20 minutes to 60 minutes a day outside of your job so you can kind of reflect or off your
phones so can be present, making sure you're getting right water intake, getting out in the sun.
I'm like, these are awesome.
simple ways you can take every mental health without having to do these things like it doesn't have to
every time you take every mental health it doesn't have to be like a big exertion of emotions it can
be these simple things like going for a walk um but like even pass out like just having connectivity
having community around you having people that love you having safe places are always I take care
of my mental health so I can be present.
and just approach it the way I need to.
Obviously, check out Wundermind, Rare Beauty, the Rare Impact Fund.
And thank you guys for being here today.
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