South Park S00E02 The Spirit of Christmas Jesus vs Santa) - 雙語字幕
We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you Jewish, Kyle?
Yes, I so.
Dude, Jewish don't celebrate Christmas.
You're supposed to sing Hanukkah songs.
Dratle, Dratle, I made you out of play!
Dratle, Dratle, Dratle, I just do a job!
Yeah, Hanukkah sucks!
Don't you oppress me fat boy!
Don't call me fat, butt fucker!
Then don't belittle my people!
You fat ass!
I do a job, don't me fat!
You fucker son of a bitch!
Like a...
Whew!
Behold my glory!
Holy shit!
You What are you doing in South Park, Jesus?
I come seeking retribution.
He's coming to kill you because you're Jewish, Kyle.
Oh, fuck!
I'm sorry, Jesus.
Don't kill me!
May, fear not.
I love all my children.
Phew!
Tomorrow my birthday.
Yet all is not right.
Your birthday is on Christmas?
That sucked it!
I must find a place called the mall.
the mall Jesus yeah it's over this way oh god damn it you stepped on my foot you
pigfucker dude don't say pigfucker in front of Jesus fuck you here we are Jesus that part mom who are you looking for him Ho,
ho, ho!
We meet again, Jesus!
You have blemished the meaning of Christmas for the last time, Kringle!
I bring happiness and love to children all over the world!
Christmas for celebrating my birth!
Christmas for giving!
I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy!
This time we finish it!
Only one.
Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
No!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Oh my gosh, they No, your son of a friend of a Boys, help me put an end to him once and for all.
No boys, help me so that I can put an end to him!
God is watching you boys, you know who to help.
Stan, remember the choo-choo when you were three?
I died for your sins, boys.
Don't forget that.
I don't know what to do, dude.
Who should we help?
I say we help Santa Claus.
You're just saying that because he brings you...
I don't need to take that kind of shit from a dude!
Yeah, shut your fat fuck, Cartman!
Then when you walk down the street people go, God damn it!
That did a big fat fuck!
Oh, yeah, what I'm trying to get out!
I got it!
This is my fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking you!
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait Now we've got to think here.
Now let's see.
What would Bryan Boy tonneau do?
Yeah, what would Bryan Boy do?
Did someone say my name?
Time Botano!
What incredible ironing is my botano!
What's going on kids?
Okay, Brian, who would you help in a fight?
Jesus or Santa Claus?
Kids, you shouldn't think of things like that.
This is the one time a year in which we all try to get along.
No matter what we believe in, this is the season just to be good to each other.
Bye!
Go!
You fucking pussier!
Go get it!
You have to understand that Santa is keeping the spirit of your birthday alive by bringing happiness and joy.
Yeah, and Santa, you need to remember that if it weren't for Jesus, this day wouldn't even exist.
You're right, kids.
I'm sorry, Jesus.
No, no.
It's me.
I've been a right bastard.
I'm sorry, Kringle.
Thank you, boys.
Yeah, thank you, boys.
Come on, Kringle.
I'll buy an orange smoothie.
Ooh!
You, that sucked.
Yeah, but you're sick.
Today actually bet.
We actually spoke.
To see.
Brian Yeah, and you know, I think I learned something today.
It doesn't matter if you're Christian, or Jewish, or atheist, or Christmas still is about one very important thing.
Yeah, ham.
Don't not ham you fat fuck fuck you!
Christmas is about something much more important.
What?
Ah, don't you see Kyle?
Yeah, presents.
Hey, man, if you're Jewish, you presents for eight days.
Wow, really?
Count me in.
Yeah, I'll be a Jew, too.
Jada, jada, jada, I made you out of clay.
And jada, jada, jada, jada, jada, jada, I play.
Mm.
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