"Help Me, Rhonda" | ALF | FULL Episode: S1 Ep7 - 雙語字幕
Oh, forget, I'm going to talk about my birthday.
No problem.
So, Brian, your birthday's Thursday.
How old are you going to be?
Seven.
How old are you, Alf?
229 August.
Gosh, how'd you blow up 229 candles?
Ah, blowing them out was easy.
Lighten them was trouble.
See, by the time you're half finished, your wrist is on fire.
Ah, ah, yeah, I kill me.
Have you decided what you want on your birthday cake, Brian?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my Your mother wants to know what kind of decoration you want on your cake.
Robin Hood, Hop Along Cassidy, Archie, and Who are they?
People Mom and Dad went to school with.
Perhaps those were outdated examples.
Hey, what about my favorite character on the cake?
Ruth, the two-headed nurse.
Ruth?
The two-headed nurse?
Yeah, she was the Vanna White of Melmak and the Betty White.
Why don't we let Brian choose his own kiss?
I just can't decide right now.
If he hasn't decided by noon tomorrow, we go with Ruth.
Fine.
Give five.
Yeah!
Give me four.
Ah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
You 856, 857, 858, 869, 860, 861, hey!
Excuse me, I just wanted to get something out of the dryer.
Well, don't take the sheep.
I'm counting.
You can't sleep, eh?
Not a wick.
Feel like chatty?
What is it, Al?
I'm really depressed.
Why?
The two-headed nurse is going to be on the cake.
It reminds me of how I'll never have another birthday with my friends.
Oh.
Now, if you did have a lot of birthdays with your friends, you're 228.
Yeah, but that last one was a real bummer.
Well, for one thing, the planet exploded.
Well, it wasn't just that.
I was finally going to get together with my true love, Rhonda.
You know, I really should turn this off before that sheep gets scorched.
You want to hear this, do you?
Sure I do.
Tell me about Rhoda.
Rhoda?
Well, I thought she was funny when she was on Mary's show, but when she got her own series, they married her off too soon.
What were talking about your girlfriend?
Oh, Rhonda.
Yeah, what a knockout.
Our very first date was gonna be on my birthday.
The night your planet blew up, that's right.
right, I was brushed and curried and ready for love, then word came, orbit guards, man your battle stations.
The rest is history.
Sayonara Melmachin, Sayonara Ronda.
Thanks.
Well, good night, Willie.
Reminds me a little of me and Marsha Sanken.
I said good night.
All right.
Tell me about you and the Martian.
Not the Martian.
Marsha.
Marsha Sanken.
It was someone I knew before I met your mother, Kate.
I had a really serious crush on Marsha Shankin.
By the time I got the nerve up to ask her out, she moved to Toledo.
Uncanny.
My planet blew up, and some girl you knew moved to Ohio.
Good night, Al.
Good night, Willie.
One, two, three, four, five...
Hey, hey, hey, Stella.
So, uh, happy birthday, Gordo.
Thanks, Skipper.
Hey, hey, good.
You got a date later?
Maybe.
He's got a day!
All right, who gets the chili cat?
Hey, over here, cutie.
Feline and fries, no gravy.
Right here.
Whiskaramalit, tail on the side.
Yo.
Happy birthday, big boy.
I think she likes you, big boy.
She's got legs like a lunar lander.
She's no ronda.
Little butt ronda.
Come on, who are you kidding?
That's who you got a date with.
All right.
Why are you making such a big deal out of this?
Alf, wake up!
What's the matter?
You were talking in your sleep, you were shouting, you were singing.
What was the matter?
I don't know, it was something but the Beach Boys.
Little deuce coop?
No, it was that one with Rhonda in the title.
Rhonda.
Are you okay?
I don't think so, Willie.
What's wrong?
Everything.
I want to go home.
Just fluff him up, just a bit.
Whoa, how's the temp, Lynn?
425 degrees, Alf, normal.
It's normal being on your own planet, not here.
Alf, I know you miss your friends and family, but we are your family now, and we do anything for you, wouldn't we, Mom?
I think we are.
Any chance of reheating this soup?
My pleasure.
Oh, and you might want to run a dustbuster over this couch.
I seem to be shedding.
I'm not going all the way out to the garage to get the dustbuster.
Be realistic, Kate.
It's not going to come to you.
Alf?
I'm going to tell you something now, and I want you to listen to me very carefully.
Let me get the dust buster.
Now, I realize that you miss Rhonda and that you're homesick, and...
They say things they don't mean, they act in ways they wouldn't ordinarily act, but if you ever talk to me like that again.
I'll punch your heart out.
Fair enough.
This is K726XAA Los Angeles.
Is there anyone out there from the planet Melmak?
Hey.
This isn't fair.
We're in there nursing a shedding alien and you guys are out here having fun.
No, we're not.
We're not having fun We're trying to contact someone from Melmag.
Yeah, like maybe I'll scroll from Rhonda Yeah, we thought if we could contact another Melmag and if Al knew that he weren't the last of his species, then maybe he'd cheer up
How was that?
It's a little hot.
But I'm too weak to blow.
Would you mind?
Why don't we just set it down and let it cool off?
And maybe you could massage my feet while it cools.
Or not.
Maybe if you got off the couch and walked on your feet, you might feel better.
Walk.
I could hardly blink.
I'm exhausted.
What's going in here?
Ahhh!
Should I wait to do this?
Tomorrow would be better.
By then, I'll be completely bald.
That's usually the last stage before the end.
Alf!
Here.
Keep this somewhere in a safe place.
Last will and testament.
I, Gordon Shumway, Don't blab that around till I'm gone.
Do hereby bequeathed all of my worldly and cosmic goods.
Make contact!
Make contact!
So, Milnequin, it's somebody named Skip.
Give me that.
And you never heard the name Shumway.
Hey, where'd you guys go?
I don't have all day.
It's really him.
Skip!
Skip!
Can you hear me?
Yeah, yeah.
Hear you loud and clear.
Who was I talking to before?
Oh, that was one of the kids.
You got kids now?
Oh, well, well, they're not mine.
I mean, I'm just living with them and their parents.
Hi, Skip, I'm Ryan.
Hi, Skip.
I'm Willie, and this is Kate.
Kate, say hi to Skip.
Hi.
Skip?
Where are you?
I got the hammer down and I'm headed for Andromeda.
Give me a coordinates, I'll do a fly by, pick you up tomorrow, about 70.
Uh, uh, tomorrow, uh, that's Brian's birthday.
Yeah, you can come to my birthday party.
Sure, we'd love to have you, wouldn't we, dear?
Right, Mikasa Sukasa.
Skip, skip, can you maybe make it next week?
I hate to miss Brian's birthday and, uh, Friday, the transvestites are back on Donahue.
Do what you have to do, but I know someone else is going to be really disappointed.
Rhonda.
Rhonda?
You've seen Rhonda?
Zina, she's right here.
Hey, say something, sweetheart.
Hi, cute.
Forget the transvestites.
See you tomorrow.
Yeah!
Okay, there.
There we go.
What do you think, Brian?
It's the worst day in my life.
Brian, we know how much I'll finish.
Honey, he wants to be with his old friends again.
Am I interrupting something?
Not really.
We were just hanging up this happy birthday sign.
Brian was about to cry.
Hey, come here, tugger.
Will hold this?
Come here.
Look, try to understand.
If you were living on Mel Mac with him, And you had a chance to come back home to your family.
You'd go, wouldn't you?
I'd never leave you out.
This isn't going well.
No, it's not.
Brian, this is just something I have to do.
And I know that even though you don't believe this, Someday, you're going to understand.
Hey, Kate.
I don't suppose there's any chance of taking Lucky with me, is there?
No.
All right, all right.
Willie, you better let him out of there.
Oh, no.
Sorry, Lucky.
You would have liked Skip.
And I know Skip would have liked you.
No.
You thought you might want some cake before you go?
Hey.
That's me on that cake.
Smells cake.
That's what Brian wanted.
I'm speechless.
Lynn, this is really nice of you.
Mom made it.
Kate, I didn't know you cared.
Well, it was a mix.
Bye, house.
Never forget you.
Alf, Alf, this has been an incredible experience.
You've enriched our lives.
You've given us a chance to learn from you.
Thank you, my friend.
Along, Willie.
Come on, Katie.
Give us a hug.
Goodbye, Al.
Good luck.
That's all you have to say?
It's a long trip, and if you have to use the bathroom, now would be a good time.
I don't, but thanks for the concern.
Come on, Brian.
Give us a hug.
Oh, wow.
Happy birthday, kid.
I love you.
Yeah, me too.
Well, I'm in the wind.
Ciao.
Areva Darshy.
And good night, Mrs.
Ochmanik, wherever you are.
It's so strange to have food here, not have Al.
Hey, B, what do you say we have a piece of cake?
Not until the spaceship comes to pick up Al.
Come on.
Come on over here, son.
He's not even gone yet.
And I miss him already.
He was so funny.
Remember the time you set the shower on fire?
I do.
I was in it.
I thought it was funny when you buried the couch.
I remember.
I was on it.
You remember the timing was helping change the tire.
It a jack away from the car.
Yeah.
I remember I was under it.
Yeah.
We all have some wonderful memories there.
He did keep things interesting.
You never knew what he was going to say next, what do next, where he'd turn up.
Kate Ow!
Ow, cute bear!
What are you doing here?
It you be on the roof?
I wanted to give you your watch back.
It is, my watch.
You know, Skip's gonna be by to pick you up in just 30 seconds.
Well, look it.
I to give Brian his birthday presents.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Here you go, kid.
Mel and DICE.
Every a seven.
You're a winner.
Well, that's wonderful, but you're going to miss your ride.
This is 13 seconds to go.
Hey, hey, hey, hold it.
Wait a minute.
Why is everyone trying to give me the bum's rush here?
I still got a couple of things I want to say.
10 Let me finish.
Now, I know that I haven't always been what you might call a model alien.
You're stalling.
Stalling?
Stalling?
Stalling?
Stalling?
Are saying I'm stalling?
Huh?
You think I'd rather stay here with you guys than sail across the cosmos with Skippen?
Rhonda?
You missed your ride.
Yeah, I guess I did.
He's staying!
I'm staying!
You gave up Rhonda for us.
Yeah, she'll only want me more after a couple of centuries.
Aren't you gonna miss her?
Yeah.
But, uh...
I guess what it boils down to is...
I'd miss you more.
You love us that much?
Yeah, I guess I do.
We love you too, Alf.
We really do.
Let's not get maudlin'.
Welcome home.
Alf Maester.
Say, what is that scratching noise?
What scratching noise it's coming from your suitcase what suitcase Fucking, you bad boy!
What are you doing in there?
I told him, no suitcase, no suitcase.
You know, Al, I've had mixed feelings about you.
But I realize that you just made a big sacrifice to stay with us.
I'm really touched.
You had mixed feelings about me?
A few.
I had a few about you too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I still don't feel properly thanked for saving you from that shit.
But, uh, we'll talk about that later.
Right now, I'm bushed.
I'd like to go over to the couch over here and lie down for a few days.
Maybe some soup?
Oh, and another big slab of that elf cake would be great.
Still in vacuum this, did ya?
Skip, Rhonda, come back!
Thank you so AHHHHH!
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