Why Divorce Is So Expensive In The U.S. - Zweisprachige Untertitel
Not less than $150,000.
With income, it would easily approach $400,000.
Upwards of $100,000, easily.
Between $172,799 to roughly $191,000, of which I still owe $120,929.
Getting divorced in the US?
isn't cheap.
In 2021, there were roughly two million marriages and nearly 700,000 divorces.
That's a lot of people coughing up a lot of dough.
While are expensive, how expensive depends on where you live, if you have children, if you own property.
If there's anything you and your spouse disagree on and several other factors.
The more complex it is, the more hours that are required.
Hours by the lawyers, hours by the appraisers, the business evaluators, the crypto hunters, the forensics, the forensic accountants, the forensic psychologists.
According to Elizabeth Douglas,
founding attorney and CEO of Douglas Foundation,
family law in New York,
an uncontested divorce cost between $1,500 and $5,500 on average, and a contested divorce anywhere from $40,000 to $140,000.
If the case goes to trial,
even This is Lindsey Williams, John Norman, and Zoe Hutsler, three people who have gone through at least one divorce.
They cost various amounts, but for all, significantly affected their financial circumstances.
Let's start with Lindsey, who got divorced twice.
Both were uncontested with no children involved.
An divorce is what it sounds like, uncontested, and it's typically a lot cheaper.
A contested divorce is when the couple can't come to an agreement.
Lindsey the cheapest route possible.
You should pay someone to help you get divorced.
You don't have to do it a couple of times.
But there are also certain counties that have
to do it yourself programs where you can go online and you can fill out the forms yourself.
Lindsey's first divorce in 1997 cost $1,000.
Their second in 2006 was $4,000.
But after Lindsey's first husband passed, they had to pay their ex-husband's debt.
Did you consult a lawyer to make sure that was legally solid?
I didn't because I was poor.
I didn't.
idea of consulting a lawyer for anything was so outside of my financial, you know, scope of understanding.
No matter what, contested or not, fees can't be escaped.
Court fees differ by state but in New York, even for an uncontested divorce, filing will cost you at least $335.
That's not including the cost of a lawyer, photocopies, notary fees, transportation, mailing, and processor fees, among others.
There's software you have to buy.
If you want to use things to support your tastes like text messages and emails, I kind of pay a transcriber $250 per court transcription.
Then there are contested divorces, which means more conflict, and more conflict means more money.
business valuator.
Nowadays, so many people have cryptocurrency.
So a crypto hunter, a tax specialist.
Douglas says one of the most expensive parts of a contested divorce is discovery, the formal process of exchanging information between the parties.
That can take months and even years.
Most prices get driven up when we're dealing with people who have offshore counts or they're trying to hide assets or transfer.
things like funneling money into an aunt's name, a sister's name.
The more topics that need to be discussed,
assets, split, money-found, children that need to be planned for, all means more hours, you're paying your lawyer for.
Since John Furst separated from his ex-wife in 2019, he's used several times.
A divorce is a separation, a dissolution, a disassociation, and with that comes a lot of life changes, significant ones.
on our same incomes, to houses, to electricity bills, cable, internet, groceries, cars, rent, or mortgage.
And that's it for lucky.
Lindsay was in an abusive relationship.
It was not safe to stay in the house,
but I didn't have anywhere to So that's when I learned how to live in a car.
There's also the cost of moving,
buying new furniture, setting up utilities, during your taxes independently, separating your and possibly selling the shared home or homes.
And that's just the beginning.
This major life change might cause time lost at work, the need for therapy, and if there are children involved, more child care.
And speaking of children, there's custody to figure out.
John worked in law enforcement for more than 20 years, and he was retired in 2019 when he separated from his ex-wife.
We went through a completely unnecessary custody battle.
It was about $123,000 in attorney's fees.
I had to hire an expert witness I was without my kids for a year.
Before the divorce, he says money wasn't a concern.
Now, he owes more than $120,000, nearly $40,000 of that in credit card debt.
We had extra money,
we bought a bow,
then there was this custody battle, and it just, He's drained all of my accounts, it's going to take me years to recoup from that.
He says he retired in 2016 and became the primary caretaker to his then 7 and 10-year-old daughters.
That's while his ex-wife started her own business.
So when he and his ex-wife split, all he had coming in was a pension, $3,200 a month.
I was paying for groceries on a joint checking account,
and then that joint checking account was emptied to an account that my name wasn't on.
So I was left with the That was a difficult spot to be in.
He worked in real estate,
got a part-time job at Ithaca College, and he recently accepted a new job with Tennessee Homeland Security as a special field agent.
How are you going to get out of all this debt?
You know, living a more frugal lifestyle, I'm going to vote probably the vast majority of my pension to paying down debt.
I'm working with a financial analyst as well,
who is helping with that,
and yes, by the way, that's another expense, another $5,000 to come to a plan on how to pay down your debt.
But it's a drop in the bucket if I can effectively erase $120,000 in the next three to four years,
this really money will spend.
Ken Couch is a professor at the University of Connecticut studying the economic effects of unexpected life cycle events.
In a long-term study developed in collaboration with the Social Security Administration, he found that divorced women lost significant financial security unless they remarried.
of child support and alimony do not make up for the additional living costs on average in the divorce woman's household.
Typically the household of the woman and the children suffer a significant decline in their standard of living where the typical male even after paying the child support is
doing a little bit better than.
He's not the only one to discuss what many around the world call the divorce gap.
This study for one on British households by a professor at the London School of
Economics claims father see an income boost of about 25% after getting divorced on average, while mothers experience a 20% drop.
It's important to remember that women earn 82 cents.
for every dollar a man earns.
However, something that we all know has changed in recent decades is who makes more money.
It's much more common now for women to be the breadwinner.
And course, not all divorces involve a man and a woman.
While studies do show that in the long-term,
women end up with a decline in their standard of living, higher earners do experience substantial loss.
financial loss.
At least during the divorce.
If you're the money spouse you're probably going to pay more because you're contributing a portion towards the other spouse's counsel fees.
Likely you are trying to maintain the status quo so you're probably paying child support,
you're paying maintenance all while trying to maintain a home or a new lifestyle of your own.
So, how can Americans reduce their costs?
Slightless, agree more, take the emotion to the extent you can out of it.
Even when you have lots of effort protect,
when you are fighting about everything where everything has to be your way or the highway, it's going to cost you more.
To prevent her divorce from being a huge financial burden on both her and her ex-husband,
Zoe Hutsler, who is a seven-year-old son, worked with a friend of hers who is an attorney to craft a custody agreement.
We didn't have a humongous estate.
The tough part for us was custody.
I thought that would really reduce the amount of time we would spend with our lawyers.
Unfortunately, my ex-husband didn't think so.
always divorced started with mediation, but they were going nowhere and got lawyers in 2022.
She says one argument alone about picking up and dropping off her son, cost her $4,000.
I mean, I literally would text him on the side and say, do you realize how much this fight is costing us?
This is ridiculous.
Can't we be adults?
Can't we?
to have this conversation.
But when somebody else engages their lawyer, you have no choice, but then to engage back with your lawyer.
The money I've spent on things that have vaporized and never come to fruition.
We three weeks in negotiations.
spending money on our attorneys to negotiate the duration of gymnastics,
and it would unfold,
and who would be taken,
and then the kid doesn't want to gymnastics."
While it might be easier said than done, there are steps Americans can take to keep costs down.
Get yourself organized, gather all the documents you might need like tax returns, employment contracts, and real estate documents.
Know your state laws and,
especially, and, especially, especially, know know know your and, know know your know your The more work you do up front, the less time you'll be paying someone else to do it for you.
And choose your mediator or lawyer wisely.
You what you pay for.
The cheapest, cheapest, cheapest way is do it yourself or, you know, you see those signs all the time that say divorce, $3.99.
It's like getting a happy meal, right?
It's to be a deal.
But if you do that,
then you have to be prepared to deal with those results, which might be waiting longer, getting papers bounced back, getting it done wrong.
At same time, spend your time with your lawyer wisely too.
Your divorced lawyer should not be your best friend, also the most expensive friend you can have.
Keep the explaining, complaining, and venting for your trusted loved ones, and not someone with a several hundred dollars.
hourly rate.
At their best might be a good idea too, and certainly a cheaper one.
There are also options for those who don't have enough money to get divorced.
Law firms that do pro bono work offer financial assistance, and there are many organizations, non-profits and shelters that can help.
You have to stay married to someone just because you don't have the money.
And finally, for those who aren't in this situation and quite yet, consider a prenup.
The best piece of advice I can give anybody is you.
You're never going to negotiate a more favorable divorce for both parties than when you love each other.
Prenups are romantic.
You get to protect someone while you still love them before you hate them.
And you get to divide and save money for both of you early on.
I think there's some people who stay married because they're afraid that their lifestyle won't be able to be maintained.
Or they still believe that bold adage, it's cheaper to keep her.
I say no it's not.
It's not cheaper because you can't get that cost back.
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