Language Review: Chinese - Subtítulos bilingües
This is the third episode of Language Review,
a series where I review the languages of the world,
sort of like a film critic or a video game reviewer, but for languages, specifically from the perspective of a language learner.
I'll who speaks them, their their and tons of other stuff before finally giving them an official language simp-certified rating on the simp scale.
If you enjoyed this video,
let me know which language in the comments you'd like me to review next,
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13,000 other language learners from all around the world.
Without ado, let's begin.
I love Chinese.
I get it every week.
I order orange chicken and I love fortune cookies.
Oh, anyway.
Chinese is take-out food, but it's also a language.
A language spoken in, you guessed it, China.
A country a country spanning from China, the extremely democratic republic of North Korea, reaching just shy of the Uzbek border.
Gently kissing Russia to the north in two locations and tightly hugging the Indian subcontinent as well as Southeast Asia.
And just look at how Afghanistan wiggled their arm out just to desperately touch a little part of China.
If that's not proof that something magical is happening in China, I'd I know what is.
Additionally, Chinese have spoken widely in Singapore and Taiwan.
Chinese, as tens of millions of Mandarin speakers have migrated all around the world
and created impressive diasporas in almost every country known to man,
notably Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, and the wisest of them have migrated all the way to Freedom Land.
In my country and in a ton of other countries, they're an abundance of Chinatowns, which are distinct communities full of Chinese people.
with their culture intact, offering Chinese goods and services abroad.
Even Ohio,
of all places, has a Chinatown, which I can only pray takes over the entire state one day and renames Cleveland to New Beijing.
So to summarize, learning Chinese will unlock a boatload of DLC across the world, both in your home country and abroad.
But Chinese is the hardest link?
I couldn't learn it.
I'm just a simple white girl.
Haven't you seen the YouTube videos?
Black man transcends space-time by deep-frying the minds of people in Chinatown with flawless Chinese.
White guy causes Asian man to spontaneously combust when he surprises him in his language.
Stupid white man obliterates Panda Express by ordering imperfectness.
ancient Chinese, white woman, taser in hand, shocks the, uh, that one doesn't work.
But the abundance of foreigners,
leaving Chinese speakers absolutely flabbergasted with their basic Mandarin abilities, should be proof enough that this language is possible to learn.
I genuinely hold the unpopular opinion that Chinese is really not that difficult.
People often see this language as the monster in their closet,
the boogie man,
the insurmountable Mount Everest of languages,
and sure, if you want to memorize all of the over 50,000 characters, it's gonna take you a while.
But to learn the first few thousand that you'll need to use on a regular basis, it shouldn't take more than a few Fortnite's.
People love to say that Chinese doesn't have an alphabet, but another hot take of mine that Chinese does, in fact, have an alphabet.
It's just over 50,000 letters long.
But thankfully, all of the letters look exactly like what they mean.
Look at this character for door.
It looks exactly like a door.
And this character for mouth.
Looks just like a mouth.
I was born in the year 1998, which means that according to the Chinese zodiac, I am literally a tiger.
So let's look at the character for tiger.
It looks exactly like the animal.
You see the head, the claws, the teeth, the legs, and the high knee.
If you can't, there's probably something wrong with you.
And when you overlay a tiger on top of it, the depiction becomes clearer than a sunny day in Beijing.
You see, Chinese is super easy to learn, honestly too easy.
So if you want to learn a real big boy language,
I recommend that you go start learning one of the seven GigaChad languages offered on Speekly, who I'd like to thank for sponsoring today's video.
Speekly is a language learning platform created by two hyperpolyglot GigaChads that's been helping me to practice and really hone in my language skills.
For the moment in Russian,
but I plan on using it also from a mad dash to a C2 Unlike other language learning platforms,
Speakly focuses on teaching you the essential vocabulary you'll actually need to use in real life.
It bore you and force you to memorize useless words for asexually reproducing worms and rare tomatoes.
It really focuses on conversational fluency, and offers a of language learning exercises that I believe will dramatically speed up your language acquisition.
probably a monolingual beta.
Yes, it is true.
Mandarin Chinese does have four and a half tones, which aren't denoted by the characters, so you've just got to learn them all by heart.
However, there is a of Chinese writing known as pinyin, where they write in the American alphabet and
include conveniently placed accent markers above the vowels.
These markers honestly all look like different characters.
caterpillars attempting to achieve various tasks.
The first tone is a sleepy caterpillar resting after Kung Fu practice.
The second tone is a caterpillar trying to climb a ramp to get to an apple.
The third tone is a caterpillar inching along the road on its way to Chinatown,
and the fourth tone is a caterpillar sliding down a ramp like Tony Hawk.
There's also a secret fifth tone and they don't write that one so we only assume that the caterpillar is just dead.
That sound overwhelming,
but every single person I've talked to who's actually learned Chinese to a high level says that the tones are not hard at all.
In general,
native Chinese speakers will understand you even if you mess up the tones,
but you do run the risk of getting yourself into trouble in a few circumstances.
For example, the word for kiss and ass.
is the same word just with a different tone.
Imagine get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet Xi Jinping in person,
and you want to ask him what his favorite flavor of Bing Chilling is.
And instead of saying, I want to ask you, you accidentally say, I want to kiss you.
And to your surprise, he leans in and embraces you, and you fall in love, get married, and have one child.
It's not policy anymore, but hey, he's a man of tradition.
But honestly, screw tones.
You could just John Cena the language and butcher them all.
You could also make a ton of money and get very famous in China if you put low effort into learning the language.
Of course, John Cena did it, but a bunch of YouTubers and other celebrities have done it as well.
It's so popular in fact that there's even the term white monkey for white people who move to China to be in commercials,
movies and modeling, like a zoo animal just because they're white.
Would the CCP shower me with money if I show for their country?
China is the greatest country in the world.
They're the future leaders of the world and everyone should be forced to learn Chinese instead of our native languages.
We all only buy Chinese products as well.
It just doesn't feel right,
but if any Any leaders of Uzbekistan, Chad, or Virgin Islands are watching this, please send me a message on Instagram.
So if the tones aren't hard and neither is the alphabet, why do people say that Chinese is the hardest language?
The short answer is that they're monolingual, misinformed, and waste their time having a job or going to school instead of really studying languages.
really beautiful.
It has a distinct rhythm to it and I've unironically used videos of Chinese people screaming to fall asleep.
It's shame so many people think it's impossible.
But once you do realize that these roadblocks are actually easy to get around, you'll smooth sail to fluency.
Chinese grammar is absolute hot dog water.
That's to say it's ridiculously easy.
There are literally zero verb conjugations.
There are no cases, no articles, no plurals, no genders, and the word order is straightforward.
If you ignore the characters and stop worrying about tones, you could be speaking in a month, no cap.
I mean, just look at this sentence.
This means I eat or I am eating.
If you want to say I ate, you could just add a la at the end.
And if you want to say I will eat, See, you could just add this word before the verb.
See?
Easy peasy.
There's no BS where you have to memorize millions of variations of the verb, and I'm looking at you, Mexican!
Speaking of things totaling in the millions,
if you're a single and lonely man AND you have money,
learning Chinese will instantly unlock communication with over 600 million women in China,
and roughly five 5,393,426.7 women across the world, and Chinese women are absolutely beautiful.
I Chinese classes when I was 13,
and I'm still in love with my old teacher who got deported because they found out she wasn't even a teacher.
But instead of pursuing women, I strongly advise you to just focus on learning more languages.
Now it's time for the funnest part of my of the review.
Let's talk about the shock factor.
How will native Chinese speakers react to you speaking their language as a foreigner?
Even though Chinese is a global language with over a speakers, the truth is that not a lot of foreigners ever reach a conversational level.
So if you're a foreigner and you whip out Mandarin Chinese with an excusable accent at a decent level,
native speakers will literally do triple backflips,
start Fortnite building IRL,
scream, give you money, invite you to their homes, name their firstborn after you, shower you with gifts, give you diamond armor, hand you the deed
to their house, and even evaporate out of pure excitement the moment you can hold a basic conversation in their language.
I've seen it firsthand,
I've studied Chinese for like one day max seriously and I used a few phrases on an exchange student and he stared
at me like I had six eyes and then invited me on an all expenses paid trip to visit his family in China.
I seriously can't overstate how excited Chinese people get when a foreigner speaks their language.
I come on guys, it's the language that started the shocking locals meme.
There's so much more I could talk about in this video.
video, but my videos are notoriously short, so time to give the Chinese language an official rating on the Sim scale.
On a scale of dogwater to gigachad, I place Chinese solidly!
In the mid-tier.
I totally see why someone would learn it,
but it's kind of the typical choice for someone who isn't a weeb or a BTS stan,
but still wants to learn a major Asian language.
If enjoyed this video,
consider supporting me on Patreon where I make language learning tips and tricks videos, and maybe even give me a follow on Twitter and Instagram.
I interacting with you guys and hearing what you have to say.
Recording this kind of makes me want to go shock some locals with a GoPro.
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