What Women are Actually Attracted to: the Archetypes of Desire - Subtítulos bilingües
The Google boys a while back, the engineers, they did an analysis of women's use of pornography.
Men's too.
Well, so males use visual pornography as everyone in their dog knows, but women prefer literary pornography.
And it's very tightly themed, like it's very architectively themed.
So, the typical protagonist is surgeon, werewolf, vampire, pirate, or or some combination, some combination of all of those attributes.
And the standard plot is attractive young woman,
all of whose virtues are not well-known,
so it's like mousey librarian type, you the Hollywood beauty who takes off her glasses and you know exactly that.
She attracts the attention of this more predatory male, let's say, or at least a male with the capacity to be predatory.
entices him into a relationship and helps him reveal his commitment and his good side.
And beauty in the beast fundamentally,
which I really think is the fundamental female archetype,
like there's a heroic archetype that goes along with the feminine as well, because women also confront the unknown and all of that.
But it is the fundamental It's certainly the fundamental female sexual archetype.
And what that means,
this is perhaps what struck a chord in your soul, is you were enamored, you said, of the image of tough guy, right?
And that would be equivalent in some sense to it.
desire from the union perspective of incorporation of the shadow,
right, to make yourself into someone who's capable of being stalwart and tough, a James Bond sort of figure, that's
a good example in the modern age.
But then you found that that should be allied with a And that rescuing of the maiden,
that goes two ways,
of course,
the maiden gets rescued, but the fact that that dangerous hero rescues the maiden and is therefore attractive to her is also his salvation.
Right.
And I mean, it is the problem that young men have to solve, right?
It's the problem of power.
You we have strength, we have power, we have a kind of sexual power as well.
And you start to think, well, you know, if you don't want to be the bad guy.
I at some point,
every young man realizes that nasty guys get more sex, and they realize that people who push women around can be very successful.
And you have to say to yourself, is that who I want to be?
And I very much did not want to be that guy.
But I did want to be successful with girls.
I also could perceive just in an actual fact that the world is a corrupt place and its power that makes it corrupt and Raymond Chandler has his that famous wonderful line down these mean streets
a man must go who is not himself mean and that Yeah, yeah.
Well, okay.
So on that too.
So the literature shows so what what the psychopaths and narcissists,
the Machiavellians and even the sadists to the men is that that the false confidence of the narcissist is a mimicry of competence.
and that can be put on very early and young women are particularly susceptible to that camouflage
and that partly accounts for the differential success of bad boys, let's say.
Now, it's partly because the women are looking for the beast that can be turned into the ally, but it's not easy for
them to distinguish the beast who is beast right to the bloody core and should be stayed away from
every possible way from the potentially redeemable Philip Marlowe hero.
And then there's another complication to say something in favor of the more beastly man is that the other thing a woman doesn't want
want and no man really want to have around either is a man who's actually weak and unskilled who pretends to be moral and kind.
you know, not only to cozy up to women, but also to parade his weakness as moral virtue.
You I'm not the mean guy, I'm not the bad guy.
Well, the reason for that is you're too goddamn weak to manage that.
And that, and instead of just admitting that forth rightly and doing something about it, you parade it as a moral virtue.
You know, and I think that sort of man is actually a lower form of man than the outright bully.
And there's some evidence that other people think is too,
you know,
because, Now anti social bully types especially in elementary school aren't unpopular they're ambivalently popular now what happens is that as their life progresses if they continue with the bullying attitude let's say that sort of
narcissistic and and.
Even Kellis attitude towards others.
It doesn't doesn't work well as a long-term strategy But the bullies are certainly more popular in elementary school say and even in junior high
Then the bully victims are I I think it goes beyond that
I mean I think this is why feminism has blown up in women's faces so much is when you outlaw
masculinity when you go make people feel bad about their masculinity, only outlaws can be masculine.
So if you look at the golden age of television,
we just passed through that lasted about 10 years from about 2020 to 2010 or 15, all of the shows were about bad guys.
The Sopranos were shielded, wired, all about guys who really got the edge.
This fellow, Andrew Tate, who is a...
a buffoon and a pimp and just a terrible person.
For a period, he was immensely popular, especially with team boys.
And he would tell people how to abuse women and how to get them into sex work for your profit.
And I would look at that and I would say, the guy's a pimp, what are you talking about?
But they would say,
well, you're not hearing you're not really understanding what I think I was, I think what they had lost was the idea of St.
George.
They had lost the idea that your power is a path to virtue.
It's not an obstacle to virtue if you use it correctly.
Yeah, well, you know, and to give the devil is too.
I the thing about Tate is he is a complex character because Not all of his bravado and posturing is false,
because he is a mixed martial arts fighter.
He is a genuinely tough guy,
and he is also someone who came up from the street,
and so you can imagine that within his soul, all sorts of different forces contend.
just and I am not making excuses for them because I think the electronic pimping aspect in particular is like, I think that's unforgivable.
It's absolutely 100% unforgivable.
There's no excuse for ever having done that in your life,
not even once,
and it's not even necessarily the kind of sin that you can recover from, not without like 20 years in serious hang your head.
But he is a complex figure because allied with his bravado is a genuine physical toughness.
And it is definitely the case that as you pointed out,
something I learned about years ago is that,
you know, if you think that like strong men are dangerous, you wait till you see what weak men are capable of.
And if you demonize everything that's positive, everything positive that's associated with masculinity, you do drive it into the unconscious, you drive it underground.
And then you do get this weird attraction, you like another element of that attraction is, who is that?
There was a there was a show for a long time about a serial killer.
who decided to...
Dexter, yeah?
Dexter, exactly, the same sort of thing, right?
And you see the same sort of thing pop up,
for example, in Fifty Shades of Grey, which is, again, an archetypal example of the feminine proclivity for a certain kind of structured pornography.
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